GOOD LORD ALMIGHTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jesus has returned! What? Lost? Well I can help you but if you want real help and or advice make sure you holla at your boy Jesus. Jesus has entered the millions of people who are now strung out on FACEBOOK.com…yes Facebook.com has welcomed our Savior and he’s here to help. In case you don’t know who Jesus is He’s listed in the Israel network on facebook.com, and his name is Jesus Christ-ian. He’s listed (on the previously college based website) as a single, straight male. He’s currently listed as “looking for: friendship, a relationship, and whatever he can get”. His activities include “healing the sick, and walking on water “to impress the ladies” (that’s what I do, see I’m more Christ like every day) anyway...His favorite music consist of several genres but none more surprising than Hip-hop. His favorite song being “I walk” by Rocafella Hip-Hop artist/producer Kanye Omari West (yes the FULL government)…playing on the title a bit, but I’m sure you know what song it is. HINT: rhymes with Jesus… His favorite book is the ever so obvious Bible, and his About me is as follows…”I like to break bread with my apostles and chill with my disciples.”…Jesus is Helping people, I had my own questions to ask him. I asked Jesus…”if someone sneezes and I say “God bless you” does it still count?” as a blessing that is. Jesus replied to me “Why wouldnt it count? Ever heard anyone say Jesus bless you? Lol”.
Prayer has never been so easy and effective. For me at least…Moses prayed and got a sea split . I just got my question answered, but I’m happy.
Jesus is accumulating friends as fast as he should He’s had several hits on his page and is adding legions daily. (Maybe he’ll do something about Lil’ Wayne? I’ll ask) Jesus has been helping others solve problems as well, with those real answers and not the "Church" answers that make your head hurt.

Tiesha C. of Phila. asked Jesus:

“I need money can you help me out Jesus?”

Jesus, responds back with:
“Tiesha…I am your Father…not your sugar daddy. But I will send sum blessings your way. Amen

Love, Jesus”

Nick W. Student from Uptown, Phila. Asked Jesus
“who is this”

Jesus said:
“God nigga”

Nick: responds:
“could god microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it??”

Jesus:
Nicholas (his name is really Nicholas)…My child…stop smoking weed.
Love, Jesus
P.S. There is nothing that iz too hot for God to eat……no homo.”

In my opinion this shits hilarious. I’m sure many people would be offended but I believe this is being done all in good fun. Please don’t get Jesus kicked off of Facebook.com because you’re a HATER…that would be lame…Jesus is my friend. Its even fun to wonder if that really is Jesus on Facebook.com??!??!?!?!?!?